If you're breathing, you're winning.

Does anyone still drop by here?

I know I've neglected this blog for far too long. Since, it's been abt a month since my last post, I shall talk about my month. Well, I hadn't done much during the hols. It's been just school, tuition, out, home, sleep, eat.. Just like any other day without proper rest. Okay, I just think I'm not gna talk abt my hols.. Here's the thing, my mind's blank.

I got a text saying...

"I feel like you've changed... ...you're not the Jaz I knew at KB Mac."

Do you know what it's like having a lack of motivation?
Do you know what it's like having trouble to enjoy the things that you used to?
Do you know what it's like to just cry yourself to sleep every night?
Do you know what it's like to feel that nothing seems to be worth doing?
Do you know what it's like to be so confused and directionless in life?

Why doesn't anyone out there seem to realise that I've been tearing up and building a wall around myself when day and night just comes and goes...

I'm struggling..
I'm so tired of pulling through another day.
Knowing that every night is just gna be a nightmare..

You're my saving grace.

0200 hours

I'ma head to bed but thought I could finally drop by here for a lil' while. I 've had a rather tiring but fruitful week. I've had tuition everyday for this entire week. I've been going to bed only in the wee hours of the morning and wake up early to get ready for class. It's really exhausting and it's starting to 'cause problems in my health. Urgh. I've had acute heart pains and mum prolly would be taking me to the hospital for some check-up. I hope I don't have any weird complications or something. Pray for me kay! :)

Loveeeee,
Jazreel

Hortatory Message

When a tri-tone woke me from my sleep this morning, I woke up to the most pother text. Hmm.. So anyway, Mum drove me to Ben's for tuition till 1. Later, Veron and I took a bus down to Wee Nam Kee for lunch. It's my first time eating there and it's so good. I'm gonna take baby there soon. Mmm... Some of the plans for the day changed. Instead, I went to Veron's and I helped pack some of the things from her old place and brought it back to where she is staying now. I've never been so dirty and covered in soot before but we had fun. & 9 year old Hakim, Veron's cousin, said this to me when he was playing with a paper puppet doll. "You wanna smell it armpit?" Hahaha, we burst out laughing.. Super funny. I had dinner with her family before heading home.

Tuition again tmr.. Chemistry! :) & I'll be meeting baby! *big smile*

Dad's buying supper!

XO,
Jazreel

In the movie of my life,

I had diarrheoa the moment I was about to leave home for school. I gave it a miss which means I'll have to spend the entire day at school tmr, 9.45am to 4pm, doing else but art. I won't be bored doing something I love but then again, it all depends where my inspiration is from. No inspiration = no progress.

I took a day off from studying today. I was never the type that had to think about my life but I had to. If I hadn't, I wouldn't have realized I had lost myself to time and the emotional side of me.

Urgh, I'm so tired of all these nonsense. Nobody ever understands. This sucks.

I dig you, baby.

Hahaha to my title! ^^ So, it was the 1st yesterday! & I was super excited since Saturday (I still am). I've been feeling really high these few days, weird. It was also strip-ey day. We had plans for sleepover but we didn't. Okay, my eyes, face, nose very pain :'( Stupidly, I've abrasion on my face (Hides in B's jacket) I'm so lazy to go for art tmr.. 3 hours.. Oh yes, another nonsensical incident. This morning, I woke up at 7.20am to shower and prepared to head to school. Then, when I was at the bus stop, I realised I got it all wrong. School was tmr, not today. Bloody hell wasted my precious sleeping timr can?!?!?! Met baby for lunch before he left for training + match :O I got home and left to town with my mum and dad for shopping! I bought.. a top and something for baby. So now, I'm superrrrrrrrr tired + sleepy + still a little bit high = sweet dreams + goodnight. (nonsense)

Nights la, Jazreel