Freudian slip.

Dear J,

We've drifted apart more than we've thought. We would never hang on to each other through the ups and the downs. Never sign our cards and letters bff anymore. Never look out for each other, although we still do sometimes. Never hang out at starbucks or coffee bean. Never share the same secrets. Never did our silly stuffs and stupid jokes together. Never sat together in class, do the same homework and study together. Never put on the blanket for each other whoever goes to sleep first during sleepover... And the list goes on...

We had a very simple plan: to be there for each other for the rest of our lives. It was a plan most best friends would agree was accomplishable. But one day, destiny greedily changed its mind.

It hurts to lose someone you love. But it hurts even more when you know someone whom you've started to depend on is lost. Someone whom you would spend most of your lifetime with.

I admit that it was wrong of me to keep things to myself most of the time. And when that bloody incident happened, I just couldn't keep it to myself anymore and I told you. I still remember we were at wheelocks' coffee been. You ordered your favourite choco chip w whip cream ice blend. And that night, you slept over at my place in fear.

I guess many things have changed these few months. You've found someone else to rely on, someone else who wouldn't be shy and keep things to themselves. You've found a new hobby, new love, new lifestyle, new goal, a new best friend...

Although it hurts me badly, I'm glad you've happy. Words can never describe how I feel now. This regret that would live with me today, tomorrow or even yesterday. But as long you're happy, I am too.

I'm always here whenever you need me.

With lots of love,
J.