Beauty in the breakdown

Ohyes, again -.- I haven't been here for awhile and blogspot is acting weirdly again.. It's been studying, fleaing, partying, movie, baby, girls.. & yeah, sch was kinda slack tday. We kept talking 'bout food during mt. So as soon as sch ended, Laura, Amanda, Angeline, Kokping, baby and I went to Swensens! Hahaha, bake rice. Omg, the thought of orhni suddenly came to my mind. So anyway, everyone left to do their own stuff while baby and I went to catch The Haunting at Connecticut. It was fucking scary can! Plus, there were 2 girls beside us screaming their heads off. Wtf. Go catch it if you wanna pee in your pants. Kidding. We went over to my place after that. Wahahaha, I had a great day. & SS test is postponed! ^^ Gna shower and get my beauty sleep. Sweetdreams!

XO.

Beauty in the breakdown

Ohyes, again -.- I haven't been here for awhile and blogspot is acting weirdly again.. It's been studying, fleaing, partying, movie, baby, girls.. & yeah, sch was kinda slack tday. We kept talking 'bout food during mt. So as soon as sch ended, Laura, Amanda, Angeline, Kokping, baby and I went to Swensens! Hahaha, bake rice. Omg, the thought of orhni suddenly came to my mind. So anyway, everyone left to do their own stuff while baby and I went to catch The Haunting at Connecticut. It was fucking scary can! Plus, there were 2 girls beside us screaming their heads off. Wtf. Go catch it if you wanna pee in your pants. Kidding. We went over to my place after that. Wahahaha, I had a great day. & SS test is postponed! ^^ Gna shower and get my beauty sleep. Sweetdreams!

XO.

Relink:

www.kisstheass.wordpress.com

It beats.

0204 hours

I've had a tiring week after spending long hours in school. It's been physically and mentally exhausting but at least, I managed to catch my breath. And yes, that's what I should've done. So anyway, tuition is on tomorrow at 9.30 am! Holy mama !@#$%^&* It's kinda silly that I realizeI've to go to bed NOW. I'ma head out for a study date with baby..

BUT first, I'ma go to sleep and have a good night rest!

Sweet dreams (L)

Broken

It's late and I can't go to sleep. I've alot on my mind now and I just can't find a way to get over it. I just have a tendency to run away, build a wall around me and grab anything around me which makes me feel secure whenever something goes wrong. Dear god, please give me the strength to pull through this because I know I have to stay strong and stand tall now. I don't wanna go through the torture of those restless sleepless nights.

Baby, where're you?

If you can't hold it tight tonight.

Can someone please tell me how do I upload voice memos from iphone to the lappie?!?!? Just when I thought pinky's the best.. After school, some of us went to catch the drama students solo piece. It was amazing! I'm so glad that we've such brilliant talented people in Peirce :) On the way home, I met hung on the bus. He gave me some tips for oral! Hahaha, thanks la nkf. So, Mav and I head to the gym today! We ran and ran... My body's aching so badly now. Babyyy, I want massage!!!!!!! Kay, I shall go lie on my bed now. Tata.

When I'm feeling an echo inside my chest,

Jazreel.

Pinky Phonie is awesome!

I'm back, just as I promised :)

Oh right, I've been relying on pinky so much that I could lie on my bed and waste my Saturday away. Pinky has absolutely everything kay! Facebook, Msn, Webbies, Games, iPod, Movie Trailers, Youtube, Scabble... etc. You name it, you got it! Weeeeeeeee..

Did I mention that I finally managed to send Mr Yeo my oral recording of the passage thru' my phone via e-mail? Cool right. Everything in one. Kay, I shall stop bragging about how good pinky is. Wait till you get one.. You'll end up like me! Hahaha. Gna go to sleeeeeppp. Goodnight bloggie (K)

Xo.

Hi bloggie, I know I haven't been blogging. Sorry :'( I'm just too lazy to blog about my day everynight... Fine, I'll blog using my phone kay! ^^ Oh yes, I've been rather lazy due to my iphone fantastic functions. It's damn awesome. I (heart) you, pinky phonie.

Brb, gna pack back! (L)

If you're breathing, you're winning.

Does anyone still drop by here?

I know I've neglected this blog for far too long. Since, it's been abt a month since my last post, I shall talk about my month. Well, I hadn't done much during the hols. It's been just school, tuition, out, home, sleep, eat.. Just like any other day without proper rest. Okay, I just think I'm not gna talk abt my hols.. Here's the thing, my mind's blank.

I got a text saying...

"I feel like you've changed... ...you're not the Jaz I knew at KB Mac."

Do you know what it's like having a lack of motivation?
Do you know what it's like having trouble to enjoy the things that you used to?
Do you know what it's like to just cry yourself to sleep every night?
Do you know what it's like to feel that nothing seems to be worth doing?
Do you know what it's like to be so confused and directionless in life?

Why doesn't anyone out there seem to realise that I've been tearing up and building a wall around myself when day and night just comes and goes...

I'm struggling..
I'm so tired of pulling through another day.
Knowing that every night is just gna be a nightmare..

You're my saving grace.

0200 hours

I'ma head to bed but thought I could finally drop by here for a lil' while. I 've had a rather tiring but fruitful week. I've had tuition everyday for this entire week. I've been going to bed only in the wee hours of the morning and wake up early to get ready for class. It's really exhausting and it's starting to 'cause problems in my health. Urgh. I've had acute heart pains and mum prolly would be taking me to the hospital for some check-up. I hope I don't have any weird complications or something. Pray for me kay! :)

Loveeeee,
Jazreel

Hortatory Message

When a tri-tone woke me from my sleep this morning, I woke up to the most pother text. Hmm.. So anyway, Mum drove me to Ben's for tuition till 1. Later, Veron and I took a bus down to Wee Nam Kee for lunch. It's my first time eating there and it's so good. I'm gonna take baby there soon. Mmm... Some of the plans for the day changed. Instead, I went to Veron's and I helped pack some of the things from her old place and brought it back to where she is staying now. I've never been so dirty and covered in soot before but we had fun. & 9 year old Hakim, Veron's cousin, said this to me when he was playing with a paper puppet doll. "You wanna smell it armpit?" Hahaha, we burst out laughing.. Super funny. I had dinner with her family before heading home.

Tuition again tmr.. Chemistry! :) & I'll be meeting baby! *big smile*

Dad's buying supper!

XO,
Jazreel

In the movie of my life,

I had diarrheoa the moment I was about to leave home for school. I gave it a miss which means I'll have to spend the entire day at school tmr, 9.45am to 4pm, doing else but art. I won't be bored doing something I love but then again, it all depends where my inspiration is from. No inspiration = no progress.

I took a day off from studying today. I was never the type that had to think about my life but I had to. If I hadn't, I wouldn't have realized I had lost myself to time and the emotional side of me.

Urgh, I'm so tired of all these nonsense. Nobody ever understands. This sucks.

I dig you, baby.

Hahaha to my title! ^^ So, it was the 1st yesterday! & I was super excited since Saturday (I still am). I've been feeling really high these few days, weird. It was also strip-ey day. We had plans for sleepover but we didn't. Okay, my eyes, face, nose very pain :'( Stupidly, I've abrasion on my face (Hides in B's jacket) I'm so lazy to go for art tmr.. 3 hours.. Oh yes, another nonsensical incident. This morning, I woke up at 7.20am to shower and prepared to head to school. Then, when I was at the bus stop, I realised I got it all wrong. School was tmr, not today. Bloody hell wasted my precious sleeping timr can?!?!?! Met baby for lunch before he left for training + match :O I got home and left to town with my mum and dad for shopping! I bought.. a top and something for baby. So now, I'm superrrrrrrrr tired + sleepy + still a little bit high = sweet dreams + goodnight. (nonsense)

Nights la, Jazreel

His brown eyes tell his soul.

Aiyer, I can't study! How? How? How? I wanted to memorize some chinese sentences and I ended up watching E! 'cause I can't concentrate. I can't keep up like this if not I'll surely flung my O's. Choy ah... Oh, talking 'bout that. L1R4: 22 I really need someone to spank me if I don't study. I'm totally not self-motivated = frustrating. 

Anyway, I like the picture of baby (above). 

I'm starving...

& someone said he wanna cook for me ah!

BIG SMILLLLLLLEEE 

Love you too la (K),

Jazreel

If you see the wonder...

OMG OMG OMG

I went on a shopping spree with mum today! I bought the neutrogena wave kit, ZA true white lotion and deep cleansing oil. Okay, the ZA true white lotion reminds me of ____. She and I went to Watsons and we saw the testing kit. I bought it and the next thing I knew I became WHITE!!! I know, damn sway but it shows that ZA products work. That's when I became a huge fan of ZA products 'cause it does wonders! ^^ Clear smooth skin... I tried out the wave thingy (above), it's damn cool and fun! I really had smoother skin after using it once. So, all girls out there! GO BUY! 

P.S. I have no idea what to blog about so yeah... GO TRY IT! wave... 

(-.-) + love,

Jazreel

My rhythm, soothing, like raindrops steady.

I had a wonderful time with love today though we did not really do anything diff from the norm. It was just like any other ordinary day where he would come over and spend time with me and sometimes, my family. I guess I've started to learn to be more optimistic about life and not a pessimist like I used to be before.

Also, this saying "Everyday above ground is a good day." taught me to cherish every part of me that I have in my life now. I came across an article on a website recently. It talked about how people overlook and take most of the little things they have for granted. A good example is having a nice pair of clean shoes to wear to school everyday. In some parts of the world, young children were used to getting their feet burnt and hurt. Walking over hot lava ashes and shards of broken, hazardous objects lying around are part of their everyday lives. Rushes of being so blessed and fortunate filled my (heart).

Loving you (today, tomorrow, yesterday),
Jazreel

The litle things that make you mine.

I'm just about to head to bed so I'll make it a quick one. I'm pretty fatigue for the past weeks and haven't rest well. I came home to take a nap and it felt like I haven't been sleeping for days. So niceeeeee :) Got ready and met baby to study!! I did Chemistry! We had dinner and walked around before heading home. Today is just like any other ordinary day but I feel so warm and happy. Aww. Shall head to bed! Nights.

It brings an indefinite sense of joy at the thought of just seeing your face.
I love you, baby (K)

Loving (you and the world),
Jazreel

Melancholy

I can't help wondering whether I'm alone in feeling melancholy. Lately, I'm starting to find myself being so moody, sensitive and emotional. I could see myself seeing the world through my emotions and it can swing from one extreme to the other in another minute. Being so tuned into other people's feelings and needs, it's so difficult for me to draw myself back from others and define my own position. Also, worrying is something I do quite well and just a tendency to expect the worst. 

Am I too full of self-pity or just getting upset over apparent nothings? 

For One More Day

1540 hours

Clammy

As I was sitting at my usual sit at Chinese class today, I can't help but stare out of the window and watch the world go by. Since it was rainy, there weren't anybody taking their morning jogs in the park. There was just rain and rain. Soon, I found myself stuck with some questions I could never find answers to. Would it even mean anything if I worked a little harder? Will it change my fate?". Is it really true that our lives and fate were already planned in heaven? When would I ever wake up from this dream that I've been dreaming for so long? So, what does life even mean? I'm sorry to make you start wondering about the answers to this questions and soon find yourself just sitting, staring out of the window. It's just a wrong time for me to get lost in my monotonous life. This sucks. I gotta get out of it.

Affection

The words "Jazreel, you BETTER study or else..." came screaming in my head when I received my results. Obviously, it's so crappy that I'm too ashamed to speak about it here. I REALLY MUST START REVISING. So anyway, I was thinking of heading to the beach for a picnic with love tmr :) It's been quite a while since we did that due to the exam fever. Kay, guess I'll be back on Sunday. Tata!

Loveeee (you), Jazreel

2356 hrs

It's been a long time since I last wrote a proper post for my almost dying blog. The timetable for tomorrow at school would be pretty slack, just checking scripts :O Talking bout that, I've received the grade for my english! English C5. I'm disappointed 'cause I was expecting myself to get an A grade. I flunk paper 2, 19/50 :( BUT I did well for oral! 32/40 :D Whoa, power right? 

Due to the exam fever, I haven't been keeping up my exercise routine. I'm so weak and gaining weight now. Baby and I went for a jog at Lentor. At first, I felt pretty good but suddenly, I broke out with heat rash. It itched all over kay! & instead of trying to accompany him to exercise, I became a bloody burden... Then we went for a swim. I prefer the water more than land, really. Reminds me of how I used to wish I could be a mermaid even just for a day. Okay, I must go diving one day. 

Omg, I think I'm freaking crapping in this post but who cares? I bet nobody would be reading this. So anyway, I'm gonna webbie with love. 

Love (many many), Jazreel

Happy Mothers' Day!

You can see it in their eyes,

tender hugs and long goodbyes,

a love only mums and daughters know.

You can see it in their smiles,

through passing years and changing styles,

a friendship that continually seems to grow.

You can see it in their lives,

the joy each of them derives,

in just knowing the other one is there.

To care and to understand,

lend an ear or hold a hand,

and to celebrate the memories they share.

Not only once upon a memory,

someone wiped away a tear,

held me close and loved me.

Mum, I loved you yesterday, I love you tomorrow and everyday.

You were there for me on my first day of school, to hold my hand and give me courage to go.

You listened to me when I needed to talk, you talked to me when I needed to listen.

You let me go and learn from my mistakes.

You never left my side when I was feeling down, I knew you'd be there to pick me up.

I wish there was a way I could repay all the things you've done for me, but there's nothing great enough to repay the greatest mother of all.

Thank you, Mum dear.

XO,

Jazreel

Tdy's papers were pretty ok. The atmosphere was rather tense when everyone started scribbling endlessly and putting all they've learnt into work. I seriously am excited for the O's though I'm not yet prepared (WOW) So, baby and I head to Queensway for curry chicken after school. Yummmmm :) Head home to rest then met again for jiding. Wahaha. I read thru' some of my cheena notes with baby's constant reminders to study hard. Every paragraph, one (K) Aww. Kay, I'm waiting for him to pompom. So longgggggg...

Many many (L),
Jazreel

P.S the first is 2days away!! hehehee, baby (K) Oh, Lynnnn too! Wahaha.

Why?

'Why', the cause or intention underlying an action or situation. 

'Trust', the trait of believing in the honesty and reliability of others. 

'Fear', an emotion experienced in anticipation of some specific pain or danger usually accompanied by a desire to flee or fight. 

You must be wondering why I'm starting this post with these 3 words. Well, being an extremely sensitive person, I tend to look beyond the surfaces of everything. It could even mean trying to understand the purpose and intentions of a person's actions/situations that could mean the least. 

Am I starting to sound like I'm a psycho? 

-No, I'm deep and looking at things from a diff perspective from the norm.  

So now, do you find it really hard to know what I'm thinking about most of the time? 

-Honestly, if I'm my own friend, yes (very). 

I felt something or more of rather something bad(to me), more than half a year back. In the beginning, I thought nothing of it but somehow, this person's action is starting to make me believe that what I felt is true. Someone, the very least expected, hurting me whether realizing or not. These little incidents happened so many times before me. I just wonder if this person knows where to toe the line. I just can't bring myself to believe that it's true. It's happening...

Allowing without fear,

Jazreel